If you want to use OS X’s native NTFS driver (i.e. Apple’s driver) to access NTFS volumes in read/write mode, you need to mount volumes with the “rw” and “nobrowse” options. You can either do that using the mount command, or if you want Disk Arbitration to mount things automatically for you, you can add an entry to /etc/fstab, like:
LABEL=xyz none ntfs rw,nobrowse
Change “xyz” to be the name of your volume.
Unfortunately, it’s not possible to have OS X automatically mount all NTFS volumes in read/write mode without a bit of hacking (e.g. by replacing /sbin/mount_ntfs with a script that massages the mount options before calling the original).
Note also that the “nobrowse” option (which you have to include) means that the volume won’t appear in Finder in the usual way.
To work around these issues, I suppose you could easily recompile a modified Kernel Extension and mount_ntfs; they are open source.
I don’t know how Apple’s native driver compares with other commercial or open source drivers that are available.